HENCH
The story of a gym bunny.
Recently let go in a large but selective round of redundancies a hench guy initially thinks it's great; his mum works in the day so he can have girls over when she's at work and spend more time in the gym. Life is great until he is no longer able to pay for his protein supplements etc and has to look for a job. Reluctantly he goes to the job centre and sees a job on the system/man and woman handing out flyers. Very vague details besides offering more than minimum wage and having a gym on site.
He applies and gets invited to an open day and meets lots of other men and women, lots of different types but all with a look of worn out dispair from being long term unemployed.
The open day offers complimentary breakfast and luncg and a small giveaway bag. Everyone is accepted in some form of occupation but the details of the companies activities remain vague.
After this there is a long period of team building exercises at work and a pay increase after the probation period of less than 50p p/hour. Over the next few months...
- discounted housing near the site
- a new tesco metro
- discounted resident/employee disco - lots of shagging
- new uniforms
- mention of activities on the news etc of superheroes
- mentoring of new employees - inc whateverman
- falling in love (with 'perfect woman' - according to his staff/personal evalutions. A never before seen employee appears matching Hench's ideal woman in appearance and style...a brainwashed clone?
- getting married
- married life
- child birth - support from work
- extended maternity leave
- installation of new games rooms at work - lazer tag, bowling etc
- promotion (of some kind but still not really knowing what he's doing)
- moved to suburban houses off site in line with new job level
- working abroad as a foreman; mostly construction. lots of ordering and receiving packages from amazon, dhl etc
- lots of vague adverts on tv about the company
- hailed for building new school and hospital (which no one ever seems to use)
- mentioned in share index as a growing company
- eventually company activities involving hench become more covert and sinister - extracting 'things' from dodgy places